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Finally…Hope for Parents in Pain What parent doesn’t want their children to grow up to be happy, responsible adults? Yet despite parents’ best efforts, most heartfelt prayers, and most loving environments, some kids never successfully make the transition to independently functioning adulthood. Following her own journey, Allison Bottke developed a tough-love approach to parenting adult children that helps both you and your child by focusing on setting you free from the repeated pain of your adult child’s broken promises, lies, and deception. Setting Boundaries® with Your Adult Children offers practical hope and healing through S.A.N.I.T.Y.—a six–step program to help parents regain control in their homes and their lives. S = STOP Enabling, STOP Blaming Yourself, and STOP the Flow of Money A = Assemble a Support Group N = Nip Excuses in the Bud I = Implement Rules/Boundaries T = Trust Your Instincts Y = Yield Everything to God As you love your child with arms and heart wide open, know that no matter what happens you are never alone. God is in control and will be with you.

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Genre: Religion
Author: Allison Bottke
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers
Release: 2019-12-03
File: 224 Pages
ISBN-13: 9780736976671

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DO YOU HAVE AN ADULT CHILD WHO IS ALWAYS IN CRISIS? Parents and grandparents around the country are struggling emotionally, spiritually and financially-living in chaos from one crisis to another concerning the poor choices being made by their adult children. They want desperately to help their adult children, and yet their repeated attempts to come to the rescue have not brought the expected results. Well-meaning parental enabling has fostered a vicious cycle of insanity that has reached epidemic proportion with catastrophic consequences. With almost 200,000 books sold in the popular Setting Boundaries(r) series, countless parents around the world have found hope, healing and SANITY since the release of Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children, Six Steps to Hope and Healing for Struggling Parents by Allison Bottke. This critically acclaimed book is a recommended resource by Focus on the Family, and it has hit #1 on various Amazon.com lists several times. With deep compassion and empathy for parents in pain, Allison has developed a SANITY Support Group workbook for use with the book to help parents set healthy boundaries. Hundreds of participants worldwide have already successfully completed the 6-Steps to SANITY and 12-Weeks to Freedom support group program. Following the six-step SANITY acronym, group members explore the difference between helping and enabling, why we enable and why we must stop, the power of love and forgiveness, what to do when drug, alcohol or other addictions are a component, how to develop an effective plan of action, and other vital issues surrounding this timely topic. This empowering 12-week program is specifically for those struggling with adult children over the age of 18, who are ready to embark on a life-changing journey to find hope, healing and freedom. The workbook is designed for small groups of any size and also includes step-by-step guidance for Group Leaders. All material in the acclaimed Setting Boundaries(r) series is faith-based. Allison is clear that her perspective on the issue is that of a Christian parent in pain. However, she invites readers of all faiths to learn how to set the necessary boundaries needed to survive as a parent of an adult child whose life is always in some type of drama, chaos or crisis. * Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children will launch a brand new beginning in your life. You may feel you are in a desert place right now as you struggle with a parenting crisis, but be alert! There's a stream in the wasteland-and you can begin making hope-filled choices that will forever change your future for the better. Carol Kent, Speaker and Author * I just got your book today on Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children and finished it in about four hours. My son is in jail right now. I realized I am an enabler and codependent from other books, but I found your book very enlightening as to what to do about it other than just being told to stop. I need a SANITY Support Group, I need help to implement the SANITY process. ML * I began a mother's group using Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children, and it was wonderful! We all loved it! We all still have kids (18 & over), and we really needed the encouragement and help. SR * Your book was a hard read for an enabler-after being a really good parent of small children, less of a good parent of teenagers and not very good at all of adult children. I have my own issues that I have been working on for years. I am the director of a Christian Counseling Center, and I'm motivated to be a better parent of adult children and to help those who are seeking help as well. WC * Thank you so much for writing the book, Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children. I bought it from a bookstore here in Mississauga, Ontario, Canada and I read it out loud word-for-word with my husband! We are Christian parents and could not put the book down because it related so much to what we are going through. Thanks & God bless yo

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Author: Allison Bottke
Publisher: Allison Bottke LLC
Release: 2014-08-23
File: 180 Pages
ISBN-13: 0692273956

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The popular, powerful guide to help parents regain control over a defiant child or teenager Occasional clashes between parents and children are not uncommon, but when defiant behavior-including tantrums, resistance to chores, and negativity-becomes chronic, it causes big problems within the family. In 10 Days to a Less Defiant Child, family and child psychologist Dr. Jeffrey Bernstein shares a groundbreaking ten-day program to help parents understand their child's behavior and regain control of their household. In this updated edition, parents will learn how to face new challenges, including defiance resulting from excessive technology use (even to the point of addiction) and the stress of modern family life. Dr. Bernstein explains what causes defiance in kids and why it's so destructive to the family, then offers parents a step-by-step guide on how to reduce conflict and end upsetting behaviors.

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Genre: Family & Relationships
Author: Jeffrey Bernstein
Publisher: Da Capo Lifelong Books
Release: 2015-07-14
File: 336 Pages
ISBN-13: 9780738218243

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This important book from the author of Setting Boundaries® with Your Adult Children (more than 40,000 sold) will help adult children who long for a better relationship with their parents but feel trapped in a never-ending cycle of chaos, crisis, or drama. With keen insight and a passion to empower adult children, Allison charts a trustworthy roadmap through the often unfamiliar territory of setting boundaries with parents while maintaining personal balance and avoiding burnout. Through the use of professional advice, true stories, and scriptural truth, readers learn how to apply the “6 Steps to SANITY”: S-STOP your own negative behavior A-ASSEMBLE a support group N-NIP excuses in the bud I-IMPLEMENT rules and boundaries T-TRUST your instincts Y-YIELD everything to God Resources are available at the ministry website: www.settingboundaries.com

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Genre: Religion
Author: Allison Bottke
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers
Release: 2010-04-01
File: 240 Pages
ISBN-13: 9780736938594

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Having clear boundaries is essential to a healthy, balanced lifestyle. A boundary is a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible. In other words, boundaries define who we are and who we are not. Boundaries impact all areas of our lives: Physical boundaries help us determine who may touch us and under what circumstances -- Mental boundaries give us the freedom to have our own thoughts and opinions -- Emotional boundaries help us to deal with our own emotions and disengage from the harmful, manipulative emotions of others -- Spiritual boundaries help us to distinguish God's will from our own and give us renewed awe for our Creator -- Often, Christians focus so much on being loving and unselfish that they forget their own limits and limitations. When confronted with their lack of boundaries, they ask: - Can I set limits and still be a loving person? - What are legitimate boundaries? - What if someone is upset or hurt by my boundaries? - How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money? - Aren't boundaries selfish? - Why do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider setting boundaries? Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend offer biblically-based answers to these and other tough questions, showing us how to set healthy boundaries with our parents, spouses, children, friends, co-workers, and even ourselves.

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Genre: Religion
Author: Henry Cloud
Publisher: Zondervan
Release: 2008-09-09
File: 304 Pages
ISBN-13: 9780310296034

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More than 10 years after Parenting Your Adult Child was published, much has changed - including young adults themselves, as well as their parents. Economic upheavals, challenges to traditional values and beliefs, the phenomenon of over-involved "helicopter parenting" - all make relating to grown children more difficult than ever. Yet at the same time, being a parent of an adult child can bring great rewards. This revised and updated version of Dr. Gary Chapman's and Dr. Ross Campbell's message will help today's parents explore how to really love their adult child in today's changing world. The book includes brief sidebars from parents of adult children and adult children themselves with their own stories. An online study guide will also be available.

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Genre: Family & Relationships
Author: Gary Chapman
Publisher: Moody Publishers
Release: 2011-03-01
File: 192 Pages
ISBN-13: 9780802477903

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What to Do When Parenting Gets Painfully Complicated Are your adult child’s mental, emotional, and physical health issues driving you to despair? Are you tempted to bail your son or daughter out of yet another impossible circumstance? When your child has reached (or long since passed) the point of independence, it’s difficult to know what your “help” as a parent should look like. From the author of bestseller Setting Boundaries® with Your Adult Children, Allison Bottke now offers an in-depth guide to help you connect with your troubled adult child, and to build your confidence, knowledge, and hope in challenging situations such as… drug addiction mental and emotional disabilities military trauma and PTSD personality disorders financial trouble depression and bipolar divorce incarceration …and so much more Whether you’re facing these problems for the first time or looking to learn more, take a step back and develop effective strategies to truly help your adult child—without sacrificing your sanity.

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Genre: Religion
Author: Allison Bottke
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers
Release: 2019-01-08
File: 240 Pages
ISBN-13: 9780736962407

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If you have an adult child, you know that parenting doesn't stop when a child reaches the age of eighteen. In many ways, it gets more complicated. Both your heart and your head are as involved as ever, whether your child lives under your roof or rarely stays in contact. In Doing Life with Your Adult Children, parenting expert Jim Burns helps you navigate the toughest and the most rewarding parts of parenting your grown kids. Speaking from his own personal and professional experience, Burns offers practical answers to questions such as these: Is it OK to give advice to my grown child? What's the difference between enabling and helping? What boundaries should I have if my child moves back home? What do I do when my child doesn't seem to be maturing into adulthood? How do I relate to my grown child's significant other? What does it mean to have healthy financial boundaries? How can I support my grown children when I don't support their values? Including positive principles on bringing kids back to faith, ideas on how to leave a legacy as a grandparent, and encouragement for every changing season, Doing Life with Your Adult Children is a unique book on your changing role in a calling that never ends.

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Genre: Religion
Author: Jim Burns, Ph.D
Publisher: Zondervan
Release: 2019-03-26
File: 192 Pages
ISBN-13: 9780310353799

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Behind nearly every adult who is accused of a crime, becomes addicted to drugs or alcohol, or who is severely mentally ill and acting out in public, there is usually at least one extremely stressed-out parent. This parent may initially react with the bad news of their adult child behaving badly with, "Oh no!" followed by, "How can I help to fix this?" A very common third reaction is the thought, "Where did I go wrong--was it something I said or did, or that I failed to do when my child was growing up that caused these issues? Is this really somehow all my fault?" These parents then open their homes, their pocketbooks, their hearts, and their futures to "saving" their adult child--who may go on to leave them financially and emotionally broken. Sometimes these families also raise the children their adult children leave behind: 1.6 million grandparents in the U.S. are in this situation. This helpful book presents families with quotations and scenarios from real suffering parents (who are not identified), practical advice, and tested strategies for coping. It also discusses the fact that parents of adult children may themselves need therapy and medications, especially antidepressants. The book is written in a clear, reassuring manner by Dr. Joel L. Young, medical director of the Rochester Center for Behavioral Medicine in Rochester Hills, Michigan; with noted medical writer Christine Adamec, author of many books in the field. In the wake of the Newtown shooting and the viral popularity of the post "I Am Adam Lanza's Mother," America is now taking a fresh look, not only at gun control, but also on how we treat mental illness. Another major issue is our support or stigmatization of those with adult children who are a major risk to their families as well to society itself. This book is part of that conversation.

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Genre: Self-Help
Author: Joel Young
Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield
Release: 2013-12-03
File: 264 Pages
ISBN-13: 9781493003969

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“I shouldn’t have to tell him that again!” “She is just so spoiled.” “They don’t appreciate anything I do for them.” Do you feel like you’re at the end of your rope? Are you exhausted by your kids arguing over every little thing? Finally there’s a name for your feelings: “Parent Frustration Syndrome” (PFS). No kid is perfect, but parents often don’t realize just how much their own thoughts, rather than their children’s behavior, contribute to being emotionally overwhelmed and discouraged. In Liking the Child You Love, Renowned psychologist Dr. Jeffrey Bernstein offers proven strategies for taming the 9 most common toxic thought patterns that stop us from parenting effectively: • The “Always or Never” Trap • Label Gluing • Seething Sarcasm • Smoldering Suspicions • Detrimental Denial • Emotional Overheating • Blame Blasting • “Should” Slamming • Dooming Conclusions As you identify and put a stop to PFS’s negative thought patterns, you’ll be amazed at how your kids’ defiant behavior quickly improves, without having to raise your voice or dole out harsh punishments. Soon you will have a closer, calmer, and more loving relationship with your kids—just by changing your own mindset.

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Genre: Family & Relationships
Author: Jeffrey Bernstein
Publisher: Da Capo Press
Release: 2009-06-09
File: 272 Pages
ISBN-13: 9780786748082

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