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Now including an excerpt from Lust & Wonder, a new memoir coming in March 2016. Running with Scissors is the true story of a boy whose mother (a poet with delusions of Anne Sexton) gave him away to be raised by her psychiatrist, a dead-ringer for Santa and a lunatic in the bargain. Suddenly, at age twelve, Augusten Burroughs found himself living in a dilapidated Victorian in perfect squalor. The doctor's bizarre family, a few patients, and a pedophile living in the backyard shed completed the tableau. Here, there were no rules, there was no school. The Christmas tree stayed up until summer, and Valium was eaten like Pez. And when things got dull, there was always the vintage electroshock therapy machine under the stairs.... Running with Scissors is at turns foul and harrowing, compelling and maniacally funny. But above all, it chronicles an ordinary boy's survival under the most extraordinary circumstances.

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Genre: Biography & Autobiography
Author: Augusten Burroughs
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
Release: 2010-04-01
File: 288 Pages
ISBN-13: 1429902523

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The #1 New York Times Bestseller An Entertainment Weekly Top Ten Book of the Year Now a Major Motion Picture This is the true story of a boy who wanted to grow up with the Brady Bunch, but ended up living with the Addams Family. Augusten Burroughs's mother gave him away to be raised by her psychiatrist, a dead ringer for Santa Claus and a certifiable lunatic into the bargain. The doctor's bizarre family, a few patients and a sinister man living in the garden shed completed the tableau. In the perfect squalor of their dilapidated Victorian house, there were no rules and there was no school. The Christmas tree stayed up until summer and Valium was chomped down like sweets. And when things got a bit slow, there was always the ancient electroshock therapy machine under the stairs... 'This is the Brady Bunch on Viagra... it is impossible not to laugh at all the jokes; to admire the sardonic, fetid tone; to wonder, slack-jawed and agog, at the sheer looniness of the vista he conjures up' -- Rachel Cooke, Observer

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Genre: Biography & Autobiography
Author: Augusten Burroughs
Publisher: Atlantic Books Ltd
Release: 2004-02-01
File: 300 Pages
ISBN-13: 9780857893529

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Eighteen months ago, drummer Jude Colburn made the biggest mistake of his life when he walked away from his band just as they were on the brink of success. Now, he's got a second chance. The band's bassist just quit, and Jude plays bass almost as well as he plays drums. The other band members aren't thrilled, but they are desperate. Running with Scissors needs him, but there's one condition: no hooking up with bandmates. That's what ruined things eighteen months ago, after all. Jude's on board, but no one warned him about the drummer who replaced him. A.J. Palmer is shy and unassuming . . . until he hits the stage. He gets Jude's attention from the first beat, and suddenly that "no hookups" rule isn't so easy to follow. Keeping secrets on a tour bus isn't easy either, and it's only a matter of time before the band catches on. When everything hits the fan, Jude has to choose: a second chance at the career he's always regretted leaving, or a shot at the man of his dreams? This 82,000 word novel was previously published.

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Genre:
Author: L a Witt
Publisher: Independently Published
Release: 2019-05
File: 316 Pages
ISBN-13: 1092223177

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Didn't your mother tell you it was dangerous to run with scissors?

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Genre: Fiction
Author: Toniwo
Publisher: iUniverse
Release: 2006-05
File: 135 Pages
ISBN-13: 9780595397433

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If you're fat and fail every diet, if you're thin but can't get thin enough, if you lose your job, if your child dies, if you are diagnosed with cancer, if you always end up with exactly the wrong kind of person, if you always end up alone, if you can't get over the past, if your parents are insane and ruining your life, if you really and truly wish you were dead, if you feel like it's your destiny to be a star, if you believe life has a grudge against you, if you don't want to have sex with your spouse and don't know why, if you feel so ashamed, if you're lost in life. If you have ever wondered, How am I aupposed to survive this? This is How.

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Genre: Self-Help
Author: Augusten Burroughs
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
Release: 2012-05-08
File: 240 Pages
ISBN-13: 9781250011565

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From the number-one bestselling author of Running with Scissors and Dry comes Augusten Burroughs's most eagerly anticipated collection yet: true stories that give voice to the thoughts that we all have but dare not mention. It begins with a Tang Instant-Breakfast Drink television commercial: "Yes, you, Augusten. You were great. We want you." I can now trace my manic adult tendencies to this moment. It was the first time I felt deeply thrilled about something just a fraction of an instant after being completely crushed. I believe those three words "We want you" were enough to cause my brain to rewire itself, and from then on, I would require more than other people....- from Magical Thinking's "Commercial Break" A contest of wills with a deranged cleaning lady. The execution of a rodent carried out with military precision and utter horror. Telemarketing revenge. A different kind of "roof work." Dating an undertaker who shows up in a minivan. This is the fabric of Augusten Burroughs's life: a collection of true stories that are universal in their appeal yet unabashedly intimate, stories that shine a flashlight into both dark and hilarious places. With Magical Thinking, Augusten Burroughs goes where other memoirists fear to tread.

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Genre: Biography & Autobiography
Author: Augusten Burroughs
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
Release: 2004-10-05
File: 288 Pages
ISBN-13: 9781429915878

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The hilarious first novel by the #1 bestselling author of Running with Scissors, Dry, A Wolf at the Table, and You Better Not Cry, Sellevision is Augusten Burrough's darkly funny and vastly entertaining skewering of a very troubled home-shopping channel. Welcome to the world of Sellevision, America's premier retail broadcasting network. When Max Andrews, the much loved and handsome (that is, lonely and gay) host of a "Toys for Tots" segment, accidentally exposes himself in front of millions of kids, Sellevision faces its first big scandal. As Max struggles to find a new job in television, the popular and perky host Peggy Jean Smythe is receiving sinister emails from a stalker. Popping pills and drinking heavily, she fails to notice that her husband is spending a lot of time with the young babysitter who lives next door. Then there's Leigh, whose affair with married Sellevision boss Howard Toast is going nowhere until she announces their relationship on air. A blistering satire of our overcharged, scandal-obsessed world, Sellevision is "an absolute howl . . . wicked fun" (New York Daily News).

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Genre: Fiction
Author: Augusten Burroughs
Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin
Release: 2003-06-01
File: 240 Pages
ISBN-13: 9781429956734

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Genre: Alcoholism
Author: William Burroughs
Publisher:
Release: 2006
File: 234 Pages
ISBN-13: OCLC:1089020468

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From the million-copy bestselling author of Running with Scissors comes Augusten Burroughs's most provocative collection yet. This book is approved for consumption by those seeking pleasure, escape, amusement, enlightenment, or general distraction. This book is not approved to treat disorders such as eBay addiction or incessant blind dating. In studies, some people reported inappropriate, convulsive laughter, a tingling sensation in the limbs, and sudden gasping. Fewer than 1 percent reported narcolepsy. Doll collectors may experience special sensitivity, as may discourteous drivers, candy-company brand managers, and nicotine-gum users. This book has been shown to be especially helpful to those with parents, grandparents, life partners, and incontinent dogs. People with dry, cracked skin have responded well to this book, as have people with certain heart conditions. Do not operate heavy machinery while reading this book, until you know what effects it may have on you. This text is contraindicated in those suffering from certain psychiatric disorders, including---but not limited to---readers afflicted with anhedonia, which is the inability to experience pleasure. Ask your doctor about Possible Side Effects.

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Genre: Biography & Autobiography
Author: Augusten Burroughs
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
Release: 2007-04-17
File: 304 Pages
ISBN-13: 9781429912464

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The instant New York Times bestseller Lust: 1. intense sexual desire or appetite 2.a passionate or overmastering desire or craving 3.ardent enthusiasm; zest; relish. Wonder: 1. something strange and surprising; a cause of surprise, astonishment,or admiration 2. the emotion excited by what is strange and surprising; a feeling of surprised or puzzled interest, sometimes tinged with admiration 3. a miraculous deed or event; remarkable phenomenon From the beloved #1 New York Times bestselling author comes an intimate look at the driving forces in one man’s life. With Augusten's unique and singular observations and his own unabashed way of detailing both the horrific and the humorous, Lust and Wonder is a hilariously frank memoir that his legions of fans have been waiting for. His story began in Running with Scissors, endured through Dry, and continues with this memoir, the capstone to the life of Augusten Burroughs. Funny, sweet, alarming, and ultimately, moving and tender, Lust & Wonder is an experience of a book that will resonate with anyone who has loved and lost and loved again.

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Genre: Biography & Autobiography
Author: Augusten Burroughs
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
Release: 2016-03-29
File: 304 Pages
ISBN-13: 9781250082367

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